Life has offered me the opportunity to slow down, to find space and time, to explore and get really curious. I find this to be perfect timing after finishing my Yoga Therapy Intensive, and delving into these concepts of tension, compensation and finding ease. As I explore these ideas on the physical level of my body, I am noticing my spine, feeling my breath, and every day becoming more sensitive to the places and ways in which I hold tension in my body. Why is it that my legs and hips need to grip and hold on? Why is it I can’t seem to fully soften through my jaw? What is the relationship between these things? Where am I compensating in my body for a lack of mobility, or perhaps a lack of strength?
And then there is the mental, emotional and spiritual levels. The same questions can be asked, the same principles apply. What is happening in my mind, in my emotions, what am gripping to, holding onto that no longer serves me? Where am I living out of habitual patterns, rather than conscious creation? What is the relationship between these things? Where am I compensating in my life, and for what? A lack of belief in myself, a lack of trust in the path, a lack of awareness of certain patterns?
I am fascinated by the idea that we are not aware of what we are not aware, yet once we become aware of something, we can’t become unaware of it. There is no going back, even though sometimes I wish there was. So what does this really mean? As I begin to slow my body, and slow my life, it is interesting how my perceptions deepen, as I become aware of more and more holdings, grippings, weaknesses and compensations. Now I ask, what support do I need to begin to let go of these?
I initially thought not being able to work would be a bad thing. Now I understand it to be this wonderful blessing, as while I am trying to understand the patterns and habits the happen in my body, I’ve let go of the habitual chasing the $$$’s sign in the rat race of working for the system. It feels like someone pressed the eject button, and now I get to explore freedom. I’ll keep you posted.